My Master Cleanse Thus Far

It worked for Beyonce so I'm hoping it works for me too. Yes, I'm on the Master Cleanse. No, its not that bad.

The cleanse involves drinking nothing but lemonade all day, not eating anything solid at all, drinking senna tea before bed and doing a salt water flush every morning. The primary goal is to cleanse your body of all the junk you've been putting into it for all these years... to detox before starting a healthy eating plan from scratch. Weight loss is an added bonus.

I'm not gonna lie. I'm doing it for instant weight loss.

The lemonade is basically a mixture of freshly squeezed lemon juice, grade B maple syrup, cayenne pepper and water. I love it. (Seriously). The salt water flush is supposed to be 2 teaspoons of course sea salt in a quart of water. You gulp it down and it flushes out your intestines. It sounds gross and it is, but the grossest part is is definitely the vomit-inducing taste. Ew.

I wanna say I'm on Day 4 but I might just be on Day 7... I'm not sure. Let me explain my first 3 days on the cleanse.

Day 1 - Thursday
I didn't drink my senna tea the night before. I didn't do a salt water flush in the morning. I did however make the lemonade and drink it all day. I caved at one point and had a couple of baked sweet potato fries. I went to the mall in the evening and felt a bit faint en route, so I had two mint candies. When I reached I had an orange juice and about an hour later a small Max Veg from Jugo Juice. I know its not food but its also not lemonade so I dont think it counts as a cleanse. I did drink the senna tea before going to bed though.

Day 2 - Friday
Still no salt water flush because it was a busy day and I knew I had to be out from morning to night. I took a whole bunch of small bottles of lemonade with me and this time I stayed true to the cleanse until mid-afternoon when I snacked on some Vegetable Thins. I figured since I was feeling weak, cheating on the cleanse would be better than passing out in public. I think it was a good call. I later cheated some more with bottled lemonade (no fresh lemon juice, no maple syrup, just sugar). Oops. Bring on the bedtime senna tea.

Day 3 - Saturday
Another busy day so no salt water flush. Lots of cleansing lemonade all day....followed by 2 spring rolls, 1 fish finger, something called a cashew roll, a sip of caffeinated tea and a couple of bites of a divine chocolate cupcake. Diet fail. The least I could do was drink my senna tea before bed.

Day 4 - Sunday/Day 1?
So I woke up thinking I had to start over and the past 3 days were just me easing into the cleanse. I guess we could call this Day 1 then. I wish I could call it Day 4. Sigh. Anyway so I did everything properly. Salt water flush and all.

It was gross. Seriously the worst taste ever. I was on the verge of puking, and I felt extremely nauseous and dehydrated. Later, I realised I put way more salt in the mixture than I needed. Oh well. I drank a lot of water and felt better.

The rest of the day I drank about 6 glasses of lemonade. I know 6 is the bare minimum but honestly it fills me up so much, its a struggle to finish even that. I didn't feel hungry at all. There was food all around me but I didn't feel the slightest hint of temptation. Good stuff.

Bedtime? Senna tea, of course. The real Day 1 was a success.

I still wish I could call it Day 4.