Ugg vs Ugly

I went through three years of college in England without buying Uggs. Back then, I never thought they were ugly but there was a great fashion-victim stigma surrounding them and so to honor my coolness, I stayed away. Even though I secretly thought they were OMGSOCOOL.

Now, I'm older and wiser and I don't care what people think. I just want to keep my feet warm and toasty.  Also, I still don't think they're ugly at all. Then again, I like comfy chic. Bring on the sweatpants and hoodie combo.

The only problem is, they cost about $300 in Canada. I refuse to pay this price because I know I can get them for $175 in the US. Why the price difference? I have no idea, but I can't wait for my next cross-border shopping trip!

Post Cleanse Health Trip = Winter Workout Shopping Trip

I feel like I worked pretty hard to lose those ten pounds. I'm not too scared about gaining it all again because my appetite seems to have shrunk considerably. I find that I am hungry very, very frequently but I can only eat small portions. I think that's good for my metabolism.

Anyway so diet aside, while I'm on this health trip I've decided to get some good old fashioned exercise into my regime.

On Monday I ran around aimlessly for about 10 minutes, suffered some exercise-induced asthma, took my inhaler and stopped. Dr Google told me the reason I started wheezing was because when I work out, I start breathing through my mouth and the cold air goes straight to my lungs. The difference in temperature (compared to moist/warm/filtered nose air) is what causes my airways to tighten and produce mucus. Gross.

Tuesday: I did it. I went for a 45-minute walk/jog (mostly brisk walking to be honest). It felt so good. I don't think I've ever done this before. Treadmills suck. I made an effort to breathe through my nose and it worked! No asthma.

I want to go again today but its so cold. I have to invest in some legit winter athletic gear. Sweatpants and a hoodie will only get me so far. Of course this means I need to go shopping. Best plan ever.

Post Cleanse Update

I haven't gained any weight since going off the cleanse, I started eating solids immediately and didn't get sick at all, I've been eating a fair amount of chicken and sushi and I'm still alive.

HOWEVER: Last night I thought I should go back to basics and had portobello mushrooms baked in balsamic vinegar, with a generous helping of lettuce-apple-grape salad. It was healthy, I promise. This morning, I had an upset stomach.

I. just. don't. get. it.

Day 8: Master Cleanse OVER

So I'm going back and counting those three pre-cleanse days as part of my cleanse. There I've done it. This means Day 8 was actually Day 11. This means it's OVER.

WOOHOO!!!!

I officially broke my fast with two jalapeno poppers. Probably not the best post-cleanse food choice.

There was a portobello mushroom in my fridge and I had been eyeing it for a while. I stuck it in the oven with some olive oil, garlic and balsamic vinegar and and I made a lettuce and grape salad to go with it. I finished about half my meal and I was full.

I guess that's a good thing? I don't know.

I went back to it a couple of hours later and finished the rest of my meal. Yum.

Later that night I had some roast chicken, grapes, fish and vegetables. It was all fantastic. I bit into a Lindt truffle and while the gooey centre was divine as always, I have to say I didn't like the outer shell of chocolate. It tasted kinda plasticky to me. I guess that's a good thing too.

I did however try some See's chocolate and omgwow omgOMGbestchocolateEVEROMGGGGGGGG.

Wow.

No really. Wow.

Ps. I know I'm supposed to be easing out. I obviously didn't have the patience to ease out with veggie soup. Damn. I took some senna tea at night, just in case. I think I lost about 10 pounds total but I can't say for sure because, like a FOOL, I didn't weigh in on Days 1-3.

Day 7!

So today was full of all sorts of minor cheating but it was totally justified. I was not only out but also on my feet all day. All day. The only time I wasn't on my feet was the three hours I spent in a car and the few minutes I spent in a food court watching my family eat Chinese food.

I cheated with a bottle of Minute Maid orange juice. It was disgusting and so not worth it but I was so tired I really needed the sugar rush. Plus I was getting bored with the taste of lemonade. Plus I was thinking of easing out of the cleanse anyway. I also had a couple of bites of chicken...and a peanut. And a chip. Yeah, just the one.

Other than that it was an okay day. Meh. Didn't do the salt water flush but I did drink the senna tea at night.

Master Cleanse: Day 6

I'm sick of lemonade. I just don't want to taste it anymore. I haven't had any cravings today, my sense of smell is still heightened, I just hate the lemonade.

I did the salt water flush this morning, ew, I had forgotten how bad it was. Seriously every time I so much as glance at table salt in the kitchen, I shudder.

I guess the good thing is I'm not hungry. Peppermint tea FTW. Also I'm still losing about 2 pounds a day. Not bad, not bad at all.

Day 5 SUCKS

Today has been so boring. I don't want to do this cleanse anymore. I'm not starving for food or anything, I'm just sick of lemons. Lemons suck.

I didn't do a salt water flush this morning because that sucks too. Senna tea sucks the least so I drank that instead.

Its only lunch time. Let's see how the rest of this day turns out.

3pm update: It was bound to happen. I was in the kitchen making my next batch of lemonade and I couldn't stop myself. I ate a shrimp and a small piece of chicken from my mom's green curry. I haven't eaten solids in so long. I hope I don't get sick. OOPS.

5pm update: I can't stop thinking about cheese. Mmmm. Pizza. Grilled cheese sandwich. Cheese omelette. Mmmmmmmmm. Also.... everyone around me smells terrible. Seriously. I can smell rotting food and gross bathroom smells everywhere. I think I am officially detoxing.

8pm update: I ate another shrimp. Damn.

10.30pm: Lemonade lemonade lemonade. Senna tea. And scene.

Master Cleanse: Day 4

Day 4 was so-so.

I couldn't deal with the thought of tasting salt water, especially after downing a liter of it on Day 3. Instead, I drank my senna tea in the morning and continued with the lemonade as per usual. All well.

I felt good but not great.

I had to do some winter coat shopping in the evening but oops, I forgot to take my lemonade with me when I went out shopping. Big mistake. Its not that I was feeling weak or anything, but just knowing that I had only had 3 glasses all day and didn't have any on me, I panicked.

I ended up getting bottled lemonade from the closest Second Cup I could find. Calypso Natural Lemonade with real lemon bits. It sounds pure but it wasn't. Yes, it contained fruit pulp, but it also contained sugar, lemon juice concentrate, citric acid, soybean oil and ester gum. It didn't taste that great either.

I had about half a bottle (250ml-ish)and then switched over to water.

So I guess I cheated a little bit. Home>senna tea>bed.

In other news I've been losing about 2 pounds a day. I'm assuming that's mostly water weight but it's better than nothing.

Master Cleanse: Days 2 and 3

Day 2 - Monday
Another good day. Another salt water flush.

This time I drank up about 2 teaspoons of salt in half a mug of warm water. According to the guidelines it should be a quart but I don't know how I'd stomach that. Unlike the first day, the after effects of this flush lasted a grand total of one hour. Better than expected.

No cheating. No weakness. Standard senna tea routine before bed.

Day 3 - Tuesday
So I tried the whole 2 teaspoons of salt in a quart of water thing. It was pretty disgusting. I did manage to finish almost all of it, save about half a glass. But honestly, it affected me the exact same way as drinking it all in one concentrated, painless shot.

The rest of the day was good. I even went to see a movie at night and the overpowering smell of nachos and popcorn didn't bother me one bit. And then *drumroll please* senna tea time.

My Master Cleanse Thus Far

It worked for Beyonce so I'm hoping it works for me too. Yes, I'm on the Master Cleanse. No, its not that bad.

The cleanse involves drinking nothing but lemonade all day, not eating anything solid at all, drinking senna tea before bed and doing a salt water flush every morning. The primary goal is to cleanse your body of all the junk you've been putting into it for all these years... to detox before starting a healthy eating plan from scratch. Weight loss is an added bonus.

I'm not gonna lie. I'm doing it for instant weight loss.

The lemonade is basically a mixture of freshly squeezed lemon juice, grade B maple syrup, cayenne pepper and water. I love it. (Seriously). The salt water flush is supposed to be 2 teaspoons of course sea salt in a quart of water. You gulp it down and it flushes out your intestines. It sounds gross and it is, but the grossest part is is definitely the vomit-inducing taste. Ew.

I wanna say I'm on Day 4 but I might just be on Day 7... I'm not sure. Let me explain my first 3 days on the cleanse.

Day 1 - Thursday
I didn't drink my senna tea the night before. I didn't do a salt water flush in the morning. I did however make the lemonade and drink it all day. I caved at one point and had a couple of baked sweet potato fries. I went to the mall in the evening and felt a bit faint en route, so I had two mint candies. When I reached I had an orange juice and about an hour later a small Max Veg from Jugo Juice. I know its not food but its also not lemonade so I dont think it counts as a cleanse. I did drink the senna tea before going to bed though.

Day 2 - Friday
Still no salt water flush because it was a busy day and I knew I had to be out from morning to night. I took a whole bunch of small bottles of lemonade with me and this time I stayed true to the cleanse until mid-afternoon when I snacked on some Vegetable Thins. I figured since I was feeling weak, cheating on the cleanse would be better than passing out in public. I think it was a good call. I later cheated some more with bottled lemonade (no fresh lemon juice, no maple syrup, just sugar). Oops. Bring on the bedtime senna tea.

Day 3 - Saturday
Another busy day so no salt water flush. Lots of cleansing lemonade all day....followed by 2 spring rolls, 1 fish finger, something called a cashew roll, a sip of caffeinated tea and a couple of bites of a divine chocolate cupcake. Diet fail. The least I could do was drink my senna tea before bed.

Day 4 - Sunday/Day 1?
So I woke up thinking I had to start over and the past 3 days were just me easing into the cleanse. I guess we could call this Day 1 then. I wish I could call it Day 4. Sigh. Anyway so I did everything properly. Salt water flush and all.

It was gross. Seriously the worst taste ever. I was on the verge of puking, and I felt extremely nauseous and dehydrated. Later, I realised I put way more salt in the mixture than I needed. Oh well. I drank a lot of water and felt better.

The rest of the day I drank about 6 glasses of lemonade. I know 6 is the bare minimum but honestly it fills me up so much, its a struggle to finish even that. I didn't feel hungry at all. There was food all around me but I didn't feel the slightest hint of temptation. Good stuff.

Bedtime? Senna tea, of course. The real Day 1 was a success.

I still wish I could call it Day 4.

Dress Envy < Body Envy

Why does food taste so good? I want to lose weight fast so I can fit into this gorgeous dress next month. Ugh. Why do I always need to lose weight in one month. Hello cabbage soup :|

(By the way, if you can fit into this dress without looking like a sausage roll, please buy it. Please.)

Positively Skeletal is Still Positive.

Barring the fact that the lady in pink does in fact look skeletal, this is what I'm talking about.

Truth

Thank you Dr Phil. Thank you very much.